


Some Space Is Needed

by MikomiShine



Series: Space Filled To The Max [1]
Category: Camp Camp (Web Series)
Genre: Depression, Max thinks no one cares for him, No one swears because i don't swear, Self-Hatred, Suicide Attempt, You can't tell me otherwise, abusive pricks, cause of his parents, space kid helps him, space kid is neurodivergent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-03-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:27:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23170939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MikomiShine/pseuds/MikomiShine
Summary: Max, after having a particularly hard day, is ready to end it all. Space Kid calms him down from it.
Series: Space Filled To The Max [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1836445
Comments: 6
Kudos: 71





	Some Space Is Needed

This was Hell. Max was in _Hell._

The Indian child trudged further into the forest, thoughts swimming as the scowl on his face deepened. He felt himself trip onto the branches below, and knew that if he didn't slow down, he'd get hurt.

Whatever.

He'd deserve it.

In fact, he'd welcome the pain. It'd mean he was feeling something other than the whirling madness within his mind.

He quickened his pace, soon enough starting to sprint - which of course lead to him breaking out into a full on run. The boy figured that the faster he went, the easier it'd be to clear his mind. 

Suddenly, he was falling forward, toppling onto the ground with his hands flying before him in an attempt to keep him from harm. Of course, that only lead to his arms and hands stinging badly. The boy sighed, picking himself up. He didn't bother to inspect the damage. It didn't matter.

After all, why would it matter if _he_ got hurt?

'It's not like I ever mattered to begin with…'

The child sniffed, wiping at his face to ward off the tears. Stuffing his hands into his hoodie pocket, he walked on.

He didn't have a clear destination in mind, but he knew what he wanted.

To get away.

Just for long enough that he could disappear.

After a little while, the child found himself in a clearing, and he soon walked up to a cliff.

Perfect.

Max sat down a few feet away from the edge, trying to let his mind wander from all the bad thoughts he was having.

But no matter what he did, he kept returning to the same old stuff that was always at the back of his head.

_Disgrace. Disgusting. Worthless._

_You're unwanted, you're unloved, nobody needs you, everyone hates you._

_You don't deserve anything good._

_All you are is bad, and you deserve all the misfortune you've been given, and more._

Max grit his teeth in frustration.

Why couldn't he just _not_ have a stupidly screwed up brain?

The child sighed, putting his head in his arms as the tears started to flow. Of course, the answer to that question was obvious.

His parents never gave him the time of day.

And when they did, it was only to ridicule and humiliate him.

He hated them.

Maybe even more than _they_ hated _him._

But what was he supposed to do about it?

_Tell_ someone?

Of course not.

That's what burdens do.

And while he was a burden to his parents, he wasn't going to allow himself to be anyone else's problem to handle.

Although, if he thought about it…

He currently _was_ someone else's problem. 

David and Gwen had to deal with his crap all the time.

Hell, Nikki and Neil had to put up with him as well.

He was certain they only tolerated him because they had become an immediate trio on the day those two had arrived, but he couldn't for the life of him understand _why_ they stuck with him.

And as for the rest of the campers…

He was pretty sure they all secretly hated him.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


Space Kid went deeper into the forest, stick in hand to scrape at the trees. He figured that if he got too lost, he could find his way back to camp by the markings he made.

He didn't really know what he was doing.

He knew that it was best not to stray too far from the campground, but sometimes he had a knack for not listening to authority. 

Despite the fact that he was lost, he had a small smile on his face, and he hummed softly.

It was such a nice day…

Soon enough, the boy entered into a clearing. He looked around a bit, before pausing his stride.

There was a small figure wearing blue in front of him. Their hands were tangled in their hair, and he could hear the broken sobs coming from their throat.

It took Space Kid a moment to realize that the person was Max.

He froze for a moment, unsure of what to do. He had never seen the boy show this much emotion aside from anger. He thought about going up to him, but figured that Max would just lash out at him. 

As Space Kid pondered what to do, the Indian child slowly stood up.

"I….I just….I don't get it…"

Space Kid strained to hear Max's voice above the wind.

"Why…. Why the Hell was I put on this damned earth, huh? Why was I even born?! What was the point of even _trying_ to survive this pain if I was….if I was just going to do _this,_ huh?"

Something struck Space Kid's heart, and his eyes widened.

What was he going to do?

'He….he doesn't mean…'

"And….and what am I so afraid of…? If….if I'm gonna do it, I might as well just…..I mean, nothing's gonna come after it, right? I. I'll finally be...I'll just be nothing. I'll be _gone."_

Oh.

Oh no.

Max _did_ mean that.

"It'll be….it'll be a damn _relief_ to everyone else. And. And I won't have to feel anything anymore."

Space Kid found his feet moving before he could think of how to stop this.

"I won't have to feel like _this_ anymore…."

Max was far too close to the edge.

Space Kid placed a hand on the other's shoulder.

Max screamed, turning around and shoving Space Kid to the ground.

They stared at each other for a moment, Max breathing heavily.

"Sp….Space Kid?! What the f - !"

"Max. Please don't do it….."

"Wh. What…"

"Don't do it. Don't kill yourself…."

The black haired child flinched back. He wrapped his arms around his small frame, glancing away.

"Y. You heard me….."

".....Yeah. I did."

Space Kid picked himself off of the ground. Max just - looked so defeated...He - he needed to get the kid away from the ledge…!

"Max - "

"What."

"Come on. Let's go back to camp."

"Why, so you can go snitch on me to David? I don't think so."

"Max, please."

"No! I'm not going back! I don't even see why you're trying - why you're acting like you even care."

Space Kid gave the other child a confused look.

"Why wouldn't I care?"

"Because _no one_ cares about me!"

"Max - "

"Everyone hates me! No one wants anything to do with me!"

"....What about Nikki and Neil?"

"They're just around me because they find me interesting. They think I'm _different_ from everyone else, and find entertainment in the way I act. But they don't actually _care._ "

"Max, that isn't true. They do care. They see you as a friend. And so do the rest of us. I - "

The Indian child barked out a laugh.

"Are you really gonna try and convince me that everyone likes me? As I said, none of you want anything to do with me! Not a single one of you would care if I rot away!"

"Yes we would!" Space Kid stepped closer. "We all care! _I_ care! Why do you think I'm trying to stop you?"

"Cause you think it's the right thing to do! You probably wouldn't be able to live with yourself if you didn't make an attempt. But once I throw myself off this cliff, you're gonna shrug it off and think, "oh well! I guess he couldn't be saved!" Max started to laugh, no humor found in his voice as tears streamed down his face. 

"Of course you can be saved, Max!"

"No I can't! I'm a lost cause!"

"That's not true!"

"Yes it is!"

"Well, if that were true, I wouldn't still be trying! Hell, David wouldn't keep on trying to get you to enjoy camp!"

"That's because you guys are _idiots_ blinded by positivity! You've mostly had the good end of the stick life throws at you. There are no lemons given to you that you're forced to make lemonade with! Everything in your life has been frickin rainbows and butterflies, so you don't relize that life doesn't work that way for everyone else. People like you….." Max hiccuped, shaking his head ruefully. "It's people like you that I _really_ hate, y'know? Cause you don't _know_ how bad others have it."

".............Max - "

"You just don't know, and you pretend to care about others sob stories when you hear 'em. But you don't actually give a damn. I know your kind…."

A gust of wind blew. That along with everything Max had said made Space Kid feel as though he'd fall over.

"M…...Max……."

"What?! What the _frick_ else could you have say?! I'm not stopping myself from ending my suffering just cause _you don't want me to_. Just cause you'll momentarily feel bad! I promise you, you won't friggen miss me! None of you will! I don't see why - !"

Max didn't get to finish, Space Kid having interrupted him with a choking hug.

"Whuh. What are you - "

"Max, _please_ ….."

The Indian child froze, realizing the other was crying.

"I…...I don't want you to go……"

"....Sp. Space Ki - "

" _I'm not going to let you go_."

With that, Space Kid grabbed his arm, forcefully pulling him away from the cliffside. Max struggled against his hold, but the other child's grip was fierce.

"L - let me go! C'mon, let me go!"

"No!" Space Kid ignored Max's sobs as he continued to tug him back into the forest.

"Let go! Let go! Just let me go!"

"If you _really_ think. That I'm gonna let you jump off the frickin edge. Of a damn _cliff._ Because you won't believe me when I say people care for you - "

"No one does!"

"Well, clearly _I do_!"

Space Kid finally stopped dragging Max, all but letting him fall to the ground. The blue hooded child sobbed, and the blanket clad one's eyes softened. He knelt to where Max lay crumpled up.

"Max. I'm sorry, okay? But I can't let you die. I refuse to."

Max glanced up.

"I understand how much you want your pain to end, but. This isn't the answer…."

"Then what is?" Space Kid sighed, shifting to sit beside Max.

"Letting you see that we truly do care. At least, that's part of it."

The two stayed silent for a short while, the quiet only broken by Max's sniffling.

"Max, can I ask you something." The hooded kid whined.

"...What."

"Do you really think that I haven't been through crap myself?"

Max paused, taking a moment to wipe his face.

"Wh. What?"

"Because I have. I've been through bad stuff. Arguably nothing like whatever you've gone through, but. My life isn't just sweet cupcakes and sprinkles."

"Then. Then _why_ are you so obliviously happy?"

"I'm not. I'm happy _despite_ everything. I don't let the things I've gone through stop me." Space Kid tried to smooth his hair back, forgetting for a moment that he was wearing his makeshift spacesuit. He huffed. "I know others go through stuff too. And while I'm not the smartest, and can't always pick up on how others are feeling, I know that being cheerful, smiling, and being kind can go a long way." The child attempted to put a hand to his chin, not caring that his helmet got in the way. "Everyone has stuff they're going through. Being nice to others can help. So that's what I do, since…Since others aren't so nice to me. I might as well give to others what I'd like to receive."

"......How. How can you just - choose to be nice. When others have given you Hell."

"Well. That's just what I chose to do. It's what I'm good at, what I'm capable of. It may not be the same for you - you may have chosen to be bitter and mean, but you can't help it. That's just how _you_ ended up coping."

"You're. Actually saying some pretty smart stuff." Space Kid laughed.

"I'm not actually _dumb_ , Max. People just _say_ I am _._ It's cause my brain is different." Max gave the lover of space a confused look.

"What do you mean? Like, depression?"

"Not in my case, no. My brain _is_ wired differently, but it's not depression."

Space Kid didn't say anything more on the subject. Max figured he didn't want to be ridiculed for his differences. But. He supposed everyone at camp already teased him for that. Especially himself.

"....Space Kid…."

"Hm?"

"I'm sorry for calling you stupid all the time…"

Space Kid looked over, surprised that Max had apologized. He smiled.

"It's okay, Max. I forgive ya."

He stood up.

"Why don't we get goin, huh? It looks like it's starting to get dark."

Max sat up and looked up at the sky, wariness filling his chest.

"....Are you gonna make talk to David…." Space Kid frowned.

"I wanted to earlier, but. I won't force ya. Though I don't think it'd be best to not let the counselors know…"

"I….I can't talk about this…." Tears came back to the hooded ones eyes, and he quickly wiped them away with his sleeve. 

".....I could talk to them for you?" Max groaned. "C'mon, Max. It really wouldn't be good to let this fester in ya without telling the adults."

".....Okay." Max's voice was small, unsure. "Just - what will you say."

"......Guess I don't have to tell them everything. Just that you, well, tried to end it….And that I helped you."

Max felt the wind pick up, blowing through his hair once again. He sniffed, then looked up when he saw movement in his peripheral vision. Space Kid has gotten up, and was offering a hand to him. Smiling.

"Do you always have to be smiling?"

"I'm tryna be reassuring. It ain't working?"

Max sighed, taking the other kids hand. Space Kid tugged him to his feet. He gave a shaky smile.

"I guess it is."


End file.
